Jokes | चुटकुले

1 Ladka exam hall me pareshan tha.
Sir: kya hua?
Question paper muskil he?
Boy:nai sir soch raha hu is question ka ans kis jeb me hai

Bacha-Mumy rat ko maine su-su karne k liye bathroom ka gate khola to bulb apne ap hi jal gya Mumy-Haraamkhor tu aj fir freez me su-su kr aya

1 aurat ne ishara krke tej a rhi bus ko roka
Driver:kaha jana h?
Aurat:Jana to khi nhi,
Bacha ro raha hai Zara bus ka horn poo_poo baja Do

Judge: Tum Dakaiti Dekhte Rahe,
Roka Q Nahi?

Gawaah: Janab Agar Meri Jaan Chali Jati To Aapko Chashmadid Gawaah Kahan Se Milta?

SANTA standing on platform suddenly jumps on track.
Man:SANTAji mar jaoge
SANTA:Marega to tu sale Suna nahi train platform par aa rahi ha

Love: Police wala:
Tumne PAPPITA bechne wali ko KISS kyun kiya
Hajoor wo hi bar bar chilla rahi thi
PAPPI ta le lo
PAPPI ta le lo..!

Washing Pwder Nirma
Washin pwdr Nirma
Dudh c Safedi Nirma s Aye
Rangin Kapda
B Khil-2 Jae

AAP Ko Kuch b Bhejo Pdte zrur H
wo b TONE k satH

Bhakt Swami se: SwamiJi mera Puja Mein Mann Nahin Lagta Kya Karu?? Swami:Uss Puja Ko Mere Paas Bhejo, Shayad Mra Mnn Lag Jaaye..

AB: 1=2
how!

Let x=y.
= 2x-x=2y-y
= 2x-2y=x-y
= 2(x-y)=x-y
= 2=1

Saala maths ka itihas hila kar rakh dala

Antar MantarJadu Jantar Chhhooo Kuch Mahsus Hua? ? Nahi Na? Jadugar Ne Bhi Yahi Kaha Tha K ye mantr sirf insano pe asar karta he..

Pappu ko Kisi Ne Sapne Me Mar Dala..to Usne Apna Bank A/C Band KarDiya

Kyoki

Bank Me Likha Tha k Hum Apke Sapno Ko Hakikat me Badlenge

Interviewer: 2 bataiye PANI ke bina Insan kaise Marega? Santa: PANI nai hoga 2 Insn Tairega kaise? Aur Trga nahi 2 doob jayega

Stdnt: sir kya ye sach he ki har insan ko marna hai.
Sir:haan

Student:sir main soch raha hu k jo anth me marega usko shamshan kon lejayega.

Teachr:Water ka formula batao.. Studnt:H2 MgCl NaCl HNO3 HCl etc.. T:Whats this? S:Sir,this is polluted water of river Ganga! -Think abt it

Wife writes msg 2 Pappu' ghar kab aa rahe ho ? Msg karke batao.' Pappu writes msg 2 her and sends 'nahi bata sakta balance kam hai.'

Girl Proudly Says: Meri 2Har Sans Pe1 Insan MartaH Boy: Yaar Phir Tum Koi Achha Tooth Paste Istemal Kyon Nhi Karti???

Tu kutta

Tu kutta

Main fir keh raha hu,Tu kutta

Tu kutta

Tu kutta

Tu kutta paal le,ajkal CHORIYAN bahut ho rhi h

Last 9t I had a
dream
I was walking
with GOD
He Askd me
Whz Ur Bst frnd?
I told Him ur Name

He Smiled & Said

'sab Pichle Janm k pap ha

There were two frnds Jo and Wo
One day Jo got scared and suddenly Wo died
Y did Wo die?
Because Jo dar gya,
Wo mar gya

Dil ki he ek CONDITION,
Jisme nahi kisi ko PERMISSION,
Sirf ap jaise dost ko hai ADMISSION,
Vo bhi bina DONATION Just maintain good RELATION

Napolean: Meri dictionary Me 'IMPOSSIBLE' word nahi hai.

Santa: Ab bolne se kya fayda, Kharidte samey hi Check karni chahiye thi

Santa : Oye Yaar! Agar
Electricity Nahi Hoti To
Kya Hota?
Banta : Kuch Nahi Yaar,
Hume Candle Light Me T.V
Dekhna Padta :)

SANTA Ghar Ka Drwaza Ukhad Ke

Kandhe Pe Rakh Ke Ja Raha Tha.

Kisi Ne Pocha:Oye Kahan Ja Rahe Ho?

SANTA:Tala Khulwane

1Gadhe Ne Pandit Ko Lat Mari
Pndit Uske Piche Bhaga
Raste Me Zebra Mila Pndt N Use Lat Mari Or
Bola Sale Night Dres Phen K Ullu Bnata hai

85yr old man buy Viagra and ask The Chemist 'isko kiske sath loo'
Chemist : 'Baba, Ganga jal ke sath 'kyo ki itne sal baad itni khushi bardaasht nahi hogi !

There is a song in the film maachis “chunni leke soti thi kamala lagti thi”,ab agar sirf chunni leke soegi to kamal to lagegi na…..!

Agar koi apko raat ki tanhai me tang kare,karwate badalnepe majboor kare,chupke se kaan me sargodshi kare aur garden chumle toh..all out lagao machar bhaga

Ek makhi ek ganje k sar par baithi.
Dusri makhi-wah kya ghar dhundha hai.
Pahli makhi-ghar kahan re,pagli abhi to sirf plot kharida hai

Way may be difficult,full of trials,sorrows pains,but if u fall down,just standup straight,be confident & say..bhenchod.dhaka kisne maara??

Man goes 2 Nark. He saw Gandhiji dancing with mallika,

Man askd2yamraj-Gandhiji ki saja itni achi kyon?

Yamraj-abe sja Gandhiji ko nhi mallika ko mili.., hai.

Third Floor se ek aurat boli kela kaisa diya ?
Kele vala bola 8 me 12. Aurat Boli 7 me 13 deta hai to uper aaja.

Pappu and Tippu order coffee.
Pappu: drink fast.
Tippu : 'Why ?
Pappu : 'it is written out there, hot coffee Rs.5/- cold coffee Rs.10/