Jokes | चुटकुले

Ladki ptane kliye chupkese uske piche ja kr use drao agr vo hasi to samjho pat gai N agr gussa hui to jor-jor se chilao didi dar gai-didi dar gai...!!!Try this.

when i call u:
1 ring meanz i'm Thinking of U,

2 ring meanz i Like U,

3 ring meanz i Miss U,

4 ring meanz i need U,

5 ring meanz ZALEEL INSAAN FONE UTHA

mickey mouse(to ajit)-boss mein ramayan seekhna chatha hoon, mujhe sikha do na...?
Ajit(to robert)-robert jaao ise deewar pe taang do

robert-per kyon boss?
ajit- deewar pe taangne se is ka naam WALLMICKEY ho jaeyga aur woh khud he ramayan seekh jayaga.

An Elephant meets an Ant

Ant : Haathi tumhari umar kitni hai?
Elephant: Paanch Saal

Ant : Paanch Saal aur itnay bade
Elephant: I AM A COMPLAN BOY !!

Robert : Boss, mission par kaise jaoon, mujhe Headek ho raha hai.

Ajit : Abe, head ek ho ya do, kaam to karna hi padega.

Agar Duniya mey kuch kar dikhaana hain
toh sunn meri baat..
Haathi ke upar ulta khada
hokar Photo Khichva,
Ab photo ko ulta karke
duniya ko dikha...

Scene : Ajit ordering Robert to kill an enemy.

Raaaaaaaabert, ise Social Security pe daal do.
Society ise jeene nahi degi, aur Security marne nahi degi.

Ajit: Rabert, ees kotte ko kala paint laga do!
Rabert: magar, kyoon ?, boss.
Ajit: aarey bevakoof, main eese blackmail karna chatha koon!

Ek aadmi kabar par baitha tha.Musafir ne pucha dar nahi lagta? Aadmi:Darne ki kya baat hai,andar garmi lag rahi thi thodi der bahar aa gaya!

Chinto gets 0 marks in exams.
Father asks him wat is it.

Chinto replies: Teacher ke paas STAR
khatam ho gaye to PLANET dene shuru kar diye!

Judge:tune chori karte waqt biwi bacho ke bare me kyon nahi socha? Chor:my lord! Socha tha par dukan me sirf men's wear hi the.

PATI:phon mere liye ho to kehna me ghar pe nahi. biwi phon utha k boli who ghar pe hai, PATI:mene mana kiya fir bhi. BIWI:ji wo mere liye tha

Thappad marne pr naraj patni ko pati bola admi use marta he jise pyr karta he patni ne pati ko 2mare or boli aap kya samjte hd k mai apse pyar nhi karti.

FATHER TO HIS DAUTHER'S LOVER-Main nahi chahta ke meri beti GADHE ke saath puri zidagi bitaaye. LOVER-Isiliye to me usey yaha se le jaa raha hoo.'

Medical student ne apni classmate ko
khun se likha letter dekar kaha,
'Muje iska ans jarur dena'
Ladki Ne jawab diya,
Tumara blodgrup B- Hai

Sharmaji ki zen ke piche likha tha, 'Sawan ko aane do.' Pechese truck ne thok diya. Uspar likha tha, 'Aaya sawan jhum ke.'

LOVE n SALA r going to a village n in b/w cumz a well, love falls in da well WHY? cuz love is blind. now sala also jumps in cuz LOVE keliye SALA kuch b karega ga.

kya meri nak tedi hai. ankhen mendki jesi hai. surat se besharm lagta hoon, pagal hoon akal nahi mujhe... phir kise ne aisa kiyo kaha meri surat tumse milte hai.............?

WIFE- chalo na car mein kahin ghumne chalte hai.or car mein drive karungi. Husband- Agar tum chalaogi to jayenge car mein or ayenge akhbar mein..

Raabert: Boss! Aaap ko kaun si teen chiz sabse jahyahda pasand hein boss?

Ajeet: Ek Mona, Doosra Sona, aur Tisra, Mona ke saath Sona

An old rich man marry a young girl. Interviewer ask to girl apne inme shadi ke liye kya dekha Girl ek inki in come, doosre inke din kam.

YEH AISA MSG HE JISE BEWAQOOF PERHTE HEIN. NALAIK DOSRON KO FARWARD KERTE HEIN, GADHE DELETE KERTE HEIN AUR PAGAL SAVE KERLETE HEIN AAP KIA KERNE WALE HEIN

Boys attitude!
A boy wen proposes a girl

If she says YES,then
Pata ni kenia nu haan kiti honi

If she says NO,then
Bandri apne ap nu Ashwarya Rai samjdi ae....

Munnabhai: Ae circuit yeh kutte poonch kyun hilate hain?
Bole to Dog tail shaking WHY?

Circuit: Common sense hai bhai ab poonch kutte ko to nahi hila sakti hai na. ”

1admi ne bhgwan se puchha
100 SAAL APKE LIYE KYA HAI
GOD-100 saal mere liye 1 sec. K brabr hai.
Man-1 CRORE RS
God-1 coin
Man-1coin muje dedo
GOD-1sec ruk ja'

Munnabhai: Are Ek bakara Talaab me Gir gaya hai aab wo sala kaise bahar aayegaa ?????



Sirkit: Bhai Geela Hoker, Tension nahi Lene kaa ...!

What’s d simmilarty between

marriage and 11:59

?

.?

..?

…?

….?

…..?

……?

…….?

……..?

Simple hai.

Dono ke baad

12 hi bajte hain…!

when wordz fail eyz works
when eyz fail heart works
when heart fails to kia ???
.
.
.
.
samajh le tapak gaya;)

Hum Tadapte hain unki Yaad mein,

DiL rota hai unki Fariyad mein,

Ae Khuda dikha de ek baar Surat unki,

Kahin Dum na nikal jaye unke INTEZAR mein.

Johny Walker : Mere pass bangla hai, gadi hai, bank loker hai, Kya hai tumhare pass ? Johny Leaver : Mere pass in sabki chabi hai

Kiya ap kay sir per seengh hain?no r u sure?plz check again.no ,ok no problem waqie Gadhay kay sur per seengh nahi hotay

Kisi ko meri yaad aye ek arsa hua,

koi hai hairan to koi tarsa hua.

Is tarah khamosh hain ye dil ye aankhe meri

Jaise khamosh ho koi badal barsa hu